It's been 414 hours...

I lost my dad on October 20th. Today, we picked up his ashes from the funeral home. When the funeral director left the room, I hugged the velvet bag that held my dad's remains. I hugged them as if I was hugging him. My dad. My sunshine. The reality of it all was overwhelming. But he took his final trip home as he drove in the car he had bought my mom earlier this year. It was a gift to her. And now he is home. And that is what he would have wanted. I see him sometimes, I feel that he is near. I welcome his presence anytime. Before he passed, I asked him to come and visit me and mom. It was pure torture to see him die. Every breathe could have been his last. I kept repeating my goodbyes, telling him how much my mother and I loved him. And though we didn't want to let him go, we told him that he need not fight anymore. I remember telling him that we will get on alright. We couldn't be selfish. He was suffering and so weak. I can't believe that I will never hear his voice again. I feel like a part of me has been torn out. My mom has been so strong. I worry that one day she will just crash. She is on overdrive. I can't keep up with her. But everyone has their own way of grieving. It has been many years since we have lost someone close. I don't know what to expect. I don't know how to grieve. Tears fall randomly. Memories come to mind. I miss my dad so much. That's all I can say right now.

He's a stand up guy

I'm just listening to John McCain's speech - admitting to his defeat and acknowledging Obama as the next president of the United States. I'm not sure if he wrote the words himself or not, but, the words seemed very sincere. He seemed honorable and respectable. With hope, the future of America is in good hands. Bless.

I'm a bit nervous...

Maybe I shouldn't be. But on the eve of the U.S. Election, I am. The following statement is not based on any prejudice or stereotype whatsoever. What am I concerned about, you ask? Well, I believe that if Obama does not win the election, then the many black Americans will protest. Claiming racism. There will be many who will be disappointed. There may be a handful that will be angry, and then a few who may turn to violence as a result. I hope that I am wrong. If Obama wins, celebrations will take place, especially amongst the black community. And so it should. This would be ground breaking. It would be a huge break through that will pave the path for many others in the future, who would never think they would have a chance at the presidency. However, as we all know, and may have experienced....celebrations can lead to people going too far. I fear that if Americans select a black president, the extremists will come out. Those that feel that they are better then everyone else, those who will use the appointment of Obama as a reason to go out and seek revenge, in the name of all black Americans who have suffered in the past. Then on the opposite end, there may be white extremists who will be ready to take action should Obama be elected. There has already been a plot to kill Obama that was announced in the news. I am sure there are more that we have not heard about.
I hope for the best, whatever the outcome of the election is. I hope that Americans get the change they need and desire. I hope the future will be bright. I hope that regardless of who wins, people will keep their wits about them, do not harm to others and be peaceful. And on a last note, I wish we had such charismatic political candidates here in Canada!!!!